hometown news

31 Dec

   The old hometown.  What a place.  Actually, it isn’t the OLD old hometown, since we’ve lived here only 6 years, but the place where I grew up has long since been swallowed up by “urbia”, so this is what we consider home now.  Some things in this town are very wonderful and homey in the way of smaller, used-to-be country, places.  And some things are not.  Wonderful, I mean.  Some things are just narrow-minded and backwards.  We have a strange mix of peoples here, which sometimes makes the place feel a little bi-polar.  We have the born-again Christians AND the KKK.  We have one of the highest teen pregnancy rates among white females in the nation AND MS13 gang members’ graffiti on the walls downtown.  We don’t have a lot of any one thing, just representation from all the groups.  Since no one thing presents itself as “the” major problem, the city fathers can’t decide what to do about any problem.

Billboard space is sold to any group with the funds, although the question of exactly how many billboards it takes to make a town look completely tacky has not been satisfactorily answered as yet.  The secondary question of whether tackiness is a good trade-off for city funds seems to have out-weighed the need for answering the first.  In any case, we have apparently not achieved “complete” tackiness, merely “potential” tackiness.  The diverse mix of groups and interests in the town can be witnessed by merely reading the billboards as one drives into town.

“Fulfill your most secret desires at Pandora’s Box. [I made that up – that’s not the real name of the store.]  Toys and lingerie for him and her.”  This is followed a half-mile later by “The Ten Commandments are not Multiple Choice.  Come visit the church today; God is waiting.”

Not sure what’s funnier; the thought of the baptized sneaking into the sex store on  Wednesday, or the cashiers at the sex store sneaking into church on Sunday.

Maybe we need a new church.  For the sex people. They can advertise on billboard space.

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Posted by on December 31, 2007 in Uncategorized


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