If at first you don’t succeed…

02 May

BP has searched its soul – corporations now being people, they feel pretty certain that they can claim after-life rights to the Kingdom of Heaven – and decided that seeing as to how there is still unoiled blue water in certain locations of the Gulf of Mexico, they must continue with plans to entirely kill the place off once and for all.  The BP executive in charge of new wells, the aptly-named Mr. Looney, expressed shock that there were eyeless shrimp being netted in the Gulf and that baby dolphins were apparently being born with such remarkable genetic defects as to guarantee their early deaths.  This indicates, much to BP’s dismay, that blind shrimp can indeed swim and that dolphins are still engaging in marine coitus.  BP thought they had put a stop to that sort of activity.  Okay, I made the up the part about Mr. Looney discussing shrimp and dolphins.  That was sarcasm, in case you couldn’t tell.  He doesn’t actually give a fuck about sea life and wouldn’t talk about sea creatures on a bet.

The Obama administration, also notably silent about the fish, animals, and humans in or near the GoM, is allowing BP to forge ahead on three new rigs, which is eight more than the number BP was operating prior to the spill.  Giving them a few more shots at killing off the last few fish in the barrel.  Literally.   One of BP’s next new projects (after these three rigs start up) will likely be in what the company calls “Mad Dog phase 2” – and if that name isn’t a finger to the GoM, I don’t know what is.  They are hoping to open up Mad Dog within the next decade.  By that time, the Gulf will be so obviously and completely dead that no-one could reasonably claim that the oil companies were doing “further” damage, thus removing the possibility that any lawsuits will be brought forward.

If you are interested, you might want to read my telescoped summary of the Deepwater Horizon spill here:

BP is planning to start three new oil drilling rigs in the Gulf of Mexico this year. The launch of the new rigs will bring the number of BP rigs in the Gulf to eight more than the oil giant had before the devastating Deepwater Horizon disaster three years ago.

Bernard Looney, BP’s executive in charge of new wells, said BP is expecting to spend $4bn (2.5bn pounds) on new developments in the Gulf of Mexico this year and hopes to “invest at least that much every year over the next decade”.

After much soul-searching in the fall of 2010, we concluded it would be wrong to walk away [from the Gulf of Mexico],” Looney said at an offshore oil conference in Houston, Texas, on Monday. “We would have been walking away not only from our past, but from a key component of our future.

He said the Deepwater Horizon disaster, which killed 11 people, had “challenged us to the core”, but said the company has been working hard to help prevent “such an accident from ever happening again”.

While conceding that BP was in “absolutely no position to preach”, he called on the industry to adopt broader safety standards.

Last October US regulators granted BP its first permit to drill a new well since the Deepwater Horizon oil spill, that spewed 4.9m barrels of oil into the fragile Gulf of Mexico ecosystem. The permit, for drilling in BP’s Kaskida field 250 miles south-west of New Orleans, was approved after BP’s well design met more stringent post-spill standards. [Teri’s note: the “more stringent” part was thrown in there for propaganda purposes.  The standards are “more stringent” in the same way we have “re-regulated” the banks.]

Looney did not state where the new rigs will drill, but industry figures said they expect an appraisal well in BP’s “giant” Tiber field 250 miles south-west of New Orleans. BP has long wanted to explore the area it discovered in 2009, but had been banned by regulators.

The company’s next big project, Mad Dog phase 2, is expected to start production towards the end of the decade. Looney said the field, which was discovered in 1998 and first began producing oil in 2005, holds more than 4bn barrels of oil – enough to promote it to the “super-giant” oil field category.


Here is a 14 minute interview conducted by Amy Goodman of Democracy Now on 5 March this year regarding the proposed BP monetary settlement. She is talking with Antonia Juhasz, Greg Palast, and Ian MacDonald.  Note that at the 5:54 mark, Greg Palast says “horrific” deal, not “terrific” deal; it’s a little tough to catch the word.  This is a great interview, and although I don’t like the way Juhasz makes an attempt to make the settlement sound like it is “reasonable”, Palast does a wonderful job dispelling any such notion.  And since BP didn’t quite manage to make its mark felt in a horrible enough way in the Gulf, the Obama administration is giving them a chance to join Shell in destroying the Arctic as well, as is brought out in this interview.  BP and the other big oil companies will not declare success until all the oceans are dead.  Your future is of no concern.  They are interested in their profitable futures as oil giants.  Perhaps they also believe in corporate reincarnation, wherein they get to come back and make more money off whatever species rules the planet once they have made the place uninhabitable for humans, mammals, fish, etc., etc.


2 responses to “If at first you don’t succeed…

  1. paxhonu

    May 2, 2012 at 8:54 pm

    [singing] So long,and thanks for all the fish / So sad that it should come to this /We tried to warn you all,but,oh,dear / You may not share our intellect / Which might explain your disrespect / For all the natural wonders that grow around you / So long,so long,and thanks for all the fish! The world’s about to be destroyed / There’s no point getting all annoyed / Lie back and let the planet dissolve around you / Despite those nets of tuna fleets / We thought that most of you were sweet / Especially tiny tots and your pregnant women / So long,so long,so long,so long,so long! So long,so long,so long,so long,so long! So long,so long,and thanks for all the fish!/ If I had just one last wish / I would like a tasty fish!/If we could just change one thing / We would all have learnt to sing!/ Come one and all / Man and mammal / Side by side / In life’s great gene pool!/ So long,so long,so long,so long,so long / So long,so long,so long,so long / So long,so long and thanks for all the fish!


    • Teri

      May 3, 2012 at 9:50 am

      Oh, yeah, paxhonu,
      “A Hitch-hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” – I love that. I decided not to use “so long and thanks for all the fish” here because I have used it a couple of times already in other posts. But it sure is apt.

      Here’s a link…only 3 minutes long –



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